I Don’t Chase After People Any More

I Don’t Chase After People Any More Graphic © InspirationPowerBoost.com

“I don’t chase after people anymore. If they like spending time with me, they will do so. If not, I’m content in my own company.” – Barry M. Sherbal

Embracing Self-Sufficiency

Barry M. Sherbal’s quote speaks volumes about the importance of self-sufficiency in our relationships. It underlines the significance of not seeking validation from others but finding contentment within oneself. This mindset encourages us to cultivate a sense of self-worth that isn’t dependent on others’ approval or company. It’s a reminder that while relationships are valuable, our happiness and sense of self should not hinge entirely on them.

Valuing Genuine Connections

The message also emphasizes the value of genuine connections over forced interactions. It suggests that relationships should be effortless and reciprocal rather than a result of one-sided effort. By not chasing after people, we open the door to more authentic and meaningful relationships, where both parties are equally invested and appreciative of each other’s company.

Learning to Enjoy Your Own Company

An essential part of Sherbal’s quote is the acceptance and enjoyment of one’s own company. This concept is crucial for personal growth and happiness. Being comfortable and content with oneself is a form of self-love and self-acceptance that leads to a more fulfilling life. It liberates us from the need for constant social validation and allows us to find peace in solitude.

Historical Example I:

One lesser-known historical figure who embodied the spirit of this saying is the Roman poet and philosopher, Lucretius. Lucretius lived in the 1st century BCE and was known for his work “De Rerum Natura” (On the Nature of Things), which expounded the principles of Epicurean philosophy.

According to historical accounts, Lucretius was a reclusive individual who preferred to spend his time in contemplation and writing, rather than engaging in the social and political life of Rome. He was known to have few friends and was not interested in seeking popularity or fame.

One anecdote that illustrates his indifference to the opinions of others is the story of his encounter with the Roman statesman and philosopher, Cicero. Cicero, who was known for his eloquence and wit, was said to have visited Lucretius at his home, eager to engage in a philosophical discussion with the renowned poet.

However, when Cicero arrived, Lucretius was nowhere to be found. He was told that Lucretius was in his garden, busy contemplating the nature of the universe. Cicero, feeling annoyed at being kept waiting, is said to have remarked, “I don’t think much of a man who neglects his guests to study the stars.”

To which Lucretius replied, “I don’t think much of a man who neglects the stars to study his guests.”

This anecdote illustrates Lucretius’s priorities and his contentment in his own company. He was not interested in seeking the approval of others or in being distracted from his philosophical pursuits. He was content to spend his time contemplating the nature of the universe, regardless of what others thought of him.

This attitude is reminiscent of the saying “I don’t chase after people anymore. If they like spending time with me, they will do so. If not, I’m content in my own company.” Lucretius’s story serves as a reminder that true contentment and happiness can come from within, and that we should not rely on the validation of others to feel fulfilled.

Historical Example II: Catherine the Great

During the 18th century, Catherine the Great, the renowned Empress of Russia, held great power and authority. One day, she decided to attend a performance at the Russian Imperial Opera House. However, upon her arrival, she noticed an empty seat beside her in the royal box.

Curious as to why someone would dare to leave an empty seat next to the Empress, Catherine politely inquired about this absence from her attendants. They explained that they were unable to locate the nobleman who had reserved that seat, despite their best efforts.

Rather than dwelling on the missing guest, Catherine simply smiled and calmly uttered, “Tell him that I grant him the rest of the evening off.” She proceeded to enjoy the performance without chasing after the nobleman or questioning his absence further.

Historical Example III: Nikola Tesla

Tesla was a visionary who was far ahead of his time, and his ideas often clashed with those of his contemporaries. He was known for his work on alternating current electrical systems, the induction motor, and the Tesla coil, among other inventions. However, his radical ideas and unconventional methods often put him at odds with other scientists and inventors of his time, most notably Thomas Edison.

Despite the lack of support and understanding from his peers, Tesla never sought their approval or chased after their company. Instead, he was content in his own company, spending countless hours in his laboratory working on his inventions. He once said, “The present is theirs; the future, for which I really worked, is mine.”

Historical Example IV: Diogenes of Sinope

Diogenes of Sinope, an ancient Greek philosopher, was known for his radical simplicity and total disregard for social conventions. Legend has it that Alexander the Great, one of history’s greatest military leaders, visited Diogenes during his travels.

Upon reaching Diogenes’ humble dwelling, Alexander found him sitting in the sun, engrossed in his thoughts. Alexander, who was fascinated by the philosopher’s reputation, approached Diogenes and asked if there was anything he could do for him.

Diogenes, unfazed by Alexander’s power and fame, replied, “Yes, there is something you can do. Stand out of my sunlight.” Amused and taken aback, the young king replied, “If I were not Alexander, I would wish to be Diogenes.”

Historical Example V: Johannes Vermeer

During the 17th century, in the midst of the Dutch Golden Age, there was a highly regarded painter named Johannes Vermeer. While Vermeer’s talent was renowned within his small circle, he never achieved widespread fame or recognition during his lifetime. Despite this, he remained true to his art, quietly dedicating himself to his works without seeking validation or promotion.

Vermeer’s calm and content nature is exemplified by a particular event that took place in his life. One day, a wealthy collector visited Vermeer’s studio, intrigued by the stories of his exceptional craftsmanship. Expecting to find a bustling workshop filled with eager apprentices, the collector was surprised to find Vermeer working away in solitude. Astonished by this, the collector remarked to Vermeer, “Why do you not chase after patrons or seek the favor of the wealthy? Your talent surpasses many renowned painters of our time!”

In response, Vermeer simply smiled and replied, “I no longer chase after people. If they appreciate and value my work, they will come to me. If not, I am content in my own company.” Vermeer’s steadfast belief in the worthiness of his own company and his dedication to his art rather than the pursuit of fame demonstrated his unwavering commitment to his craft and his sense of inner fulfillment.

Daily Affirmation

“Today, I embrace my independence. I value genuine connections and am comfortable in my solitude, knowing my worth is not defined by others.”

Related Inspirational Quotes

“The only person you should try to be better than is the person you were yesterday.” – Unknown

“To fall in love with yourself is the first secret to happiness.” – Robert Morley

“Do not seek the approval of others. Be your own person.” – Unknown

“If you are lonely when you’re alone, you are in bad company.” – Jean-Paul Sartre

“Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.” – Unknown